Ready
…set …go... And I was there all geared to take up any or all of the
competitions ranging from sports to singing. I had` that irresistible urge to
win always. I stretched myself far too beyond
– learning, unlearning and relearning lessons about which I had no clue all
just to be part of that crew!
Destination to me mattered more than the journey. I strongly relied on
jargons like “Never say die”, “Be better than the best” and so on. To me
winning was “The Ultimate”. I was
straining every nerve and cell just to be on that winner’s pedestal. Oh what a
pain!
The
strains showed on me and I could not retain the victory cup always. I was left
behind and I watched others surging ahead with that winning spree. Distressed
and dejected I was, unable to cope with the fact that I wasn’t always the best
in life. The painful realization taught
me valuable lessons. I gradually changed
my mindset and believed that just participation will do and it is “After All Everything”. But again the
deep desire to be a part of everything had not died. It was in fact furiously racing within. No
wonder, I madly participated in almost all competitions, now that the journey
mattered more than the destination!! But participating wasn’t so easy either. It
made me
apprehensive
and anxious stressing me out.
“Are
you a coward?” a voice echoed within. I felt as if darkness was laughing at me
in exceeding joy. Was I surrendering to the dark evil?! Something dawned on me
all of a sudden. And I watched the transition within me. After all being just
“ordinary” wasn’t a crime! I longed to be a passive spectator watching the drama
of life. I had graduated sensibly into a plane where I could rely on my inner signals
and sense the nascent aroma of freedom. The need “to become” dropped, and I wanted to” just be”. It gave me
heavenly joy and happiness... The freedom of being an unknown, unrecognized an invisible
nobody brought me unimaginable peace. To me “anonymity” seemed as the most invaluable gift one could possess.
