Mystical World...

Things around have changed.
Melting boundaries,
Breaking limits.
        .
A world so wild & wide,
The glitter and glamour,
Caught your eye.
       .
What was once treasured,
Has worn out today!!!
        .
The need to adapt,
Took the lead.
Masking you indeed.
        .
Lost mid way,
Lost inbetween,
You search for your own shadow.
        .
The mask you is,
There waiting,
For whom?
The soul goes in for an introspection

The Year That Was... (looking back)

2011 has been special. It taught me varied lessons which I had never given a thought about. It brought about changes on my thought process, the attitude towards different things I encountered. I always had fixed attitudes, strong notions and beliefs systems that had two contrast gate ways (good and the bad) I categorized people, scanned them, and judged them, and put them through an analysis test and branded them at the end. My moods usually take over the ‘show’. I succumb to different shades of mood swings that come on my way. ‘People make me sad, make me get upset’ most of the times. I realize there is no reason as such why I am sad, or like when I ‘am not myself’. Now I feel it’s a luxury to pay heed to these kinds of emotions.


I find a hundred and one physical differences between individuals. So should there be infinite mental differences too!! Despite these differences we still have friends and well wishers who help us sail through the entire show! It’s quoted that friends are someone whom you can relate with and share common things. But in my opinion, I find few similarities amongst the so called friends. Different people, different background, different thought process yet staying together as friends!! That’s beautiful and that’s life! It’s really hard to arrive at a consensus... The beautiful chord that connects us is the element of silence. It’s the only domain we acknowledge, agree and accept. For none can lie to one’s own self. The freedom of   being just ‘you’ and not evaluating others gives some sort of bliss. There is too much of a chaos and misunderstanding when we interact too much.  The only universal language that we can all relate to is silence. And it is a blessing to remain silent at times. Lessons I learnt this passing year seems invaluable to me. Oh silence you are so potent your stillness does the speaking   and it means everything!)

The Clasped hands...

The dark gloomy days are back;

Making me go off track.
Perplexed and confused I was,

Reached the dead end of the wall.

No way to move ahead;

No answer to my soul's quest

I stood there waiting;
No change beckoned me out.
The darkness grew, the cold wind blew;
Yet I stood wondering if I could,
See the light that I longed to see
.

"Angel" I called all in vain.

Darkness engulfed me once again!

I lost hope and the little faith,

Embracing loneliness as my fate,

Waited for my end; that cold night.

The little angel did come

With all love, called me out

(There I was silent ........ asleep?)

My heart throbbed and whispered,

I knew you would finally come....

Rendezvous

The sun, set;

The skies darkened.

Clouds turned dark,

The night pitched in soon.

          .
Amazed at the beauty;
I gazed at the magnanimous sky.
Endless, bounty of energy,
The sky stretched to reach the infinite.
          .
Small; point size stars twinkled,
Soon they ran out of sight.
Was suprised to watch them change,
All in just a fraction of a second!
          .
Mighty and strong it stood.
Capturing my attention,
I couldnt blink, I simply froze.
As I watched the majestic moon.
         .
The round ball of cheese,
Was up there.
And I felt it was all mine,

My eyes gleamed in joy.

       .

As I stretched myself,

To get there.

Could reach no near.

Talll it stood,

Up there where no one is there.

       .

I moved and,

Closed the door.

But too eager;

I pushed the curtains,

It stood silent...

        .

It winked at me

With that little smile.

Soul's Song...

We both are caught in a world of contridictions.

A discussion starts between us, and turns into a debate soon.

We have strong views trying to knock out each other,

You succeed by branding me wrong all the tym.
               .
I silence myself,
Am quiet wid no words.
Absolutely cluesless of what to counter,
I try not to save myself,
Because I love u so much.
            .
Y don u realize?
That u cant be ryt all the tym,
Nor can I be wrg all the while.
No doubt ur charming,
But sumtyms ur cold n mean.
            .
I don care for who u are,
Derz endless love within.
I overlook ur flaws and erroneous zones.

            .

U feel ur important,

And that's some thing spl.

I do agree ur 'spl',

Sometimes u become self obssesed.

        .

U still feel I am wrg,

I only pity,

Ur old school of thought.

But respect ur rusted thoughts- old n obselete

           

          .

Wat eva may be,

We still  remain close.

I love you,

For wat u are.

Crystals Of Change...

I remember the days when,

You took me into your arms,
Kissed my forehead everynight.
Staying awake till I dozed off to sleep.
You woke up before sunrise,
Only to see if I am safe and sound.
Waiting to hear the bed spring bounce,
Embracing me to feel my warmth.
                 .
Days passed ; years rolled by,
Aloof and cold we felt.
The changes within us,
Caused distance within us.
We both stayed under the same roof,
Like strangers down the lane;
Sharing nothing in common,
Staring at eachother everyday.
                  .
Our wavelength no more matched,
Our likes were poles apart.
Pretending to enjoy each others company;
We stayed under the same roof.
The walls spoke about our differences,
The roof spoke about our distance.
Silently bearing we patiently stood,
Under the same roof.
                .
I noticed you were let down,
But never came out with words.

Your expressions translated your inner feeling.

Yet I could'nt comfort you,

It being no more my job.

There I stood standstill,

Experiencing the same feeling within.

                 .

"I am grown up" thats the fact.

I moved with the change.

But felt helpless;

As I watched your emotions stuck

"Pls grow up appa" I whispered;

As I moved away,

              .

It was the hard way,

But the only way.

The Wait...

I stood there waiting,

For hours to go.

Wondering if you would ever turn up;

Scretching myself to see if you would come.

   

         .

Each time the dog barked,

And the vechicle honked,

The bells jingled,

I thought you were close;

Goin to get here in sometime now.
           .
The pleasent evening was here,
But you were no near.
Still had the strength to wait,
Had the hope you would turn up.
             .
There I saw someone nearing;
The overjoyed soul thought it was you.
There came an acquaintance,
Definitely it was'nt you.
             .
The night pitched in,
The skies turned dark.
But I had the stars for me,
Twinkling softly, staring at me.
              .
There I spent a whole day without you;
Still waited in the same old place,
Hoping if you would come.
There came someone,
Let me see if its "YOU"

Time Pass

The aroma of filter coffee mesmerized me. I had been alone to the coffee shop, a place that I love to be to get my most favorite filter coffee. As I settled down with a mug of that enchanting beverage, I noticed that the café had a total make over. It was all decorated with flowers, lights, symbols of hearts and the like. The walls glowed carrying with it radiant love quotes and love bands. I simply wondered what this was all about. It struck me hard that the arrangements had been done to welcome the most hyped day of the year that’s celebrated world over. Well, you guessed it right. ’February 14th valentine day was indeed nearing.’ As I sat savoring every bit of the hot steaming coffee, my eyes fell at the pretty young girl seated at the corner table. It looked as if she had taken all pains to groom herself too well. Dressed in hep skin fitting attire, her long black ironed locks, contrasted her fair flawless complexion. Her dark large eyes lined with jet black eye liner and the long conspicuous eyelashes that she sported were enough proof of her angelic beauty. She looked shy and vulnerable too, seated very close besides a young dark man in his prime. She blushed as she smiled occasionally displaying her deep dimples. They conversed in low tones and it was evident that they were in a ‘relationship’ - the trend of the day!! They exchanged smiles, tried to talk with a new accent trying to impress each other. Occasionally they raised eyebrows, I could see a whole run of emotions. I lost count of time as I also got engrossed watching the’ live love leelas.’

“Where has the value system gone?,” shot a voice from the back. I turned to find an old man perhaps in his late 70s, making his point of view. He appeared fragile and weak. Yet he seemed to carry very strong belief system. His voice quivered as he mumbled over the plight of the existing trend. His tone displayed agony and pain. He lamented over the easy going lifestyle devoid of ethics of the youth population. I gave him a cold stare and my silence silenced him. I looked at the corner table again and at the ongoing drama; I didn’t know if their relationship would last… perhaps they were in a transient relationship. Nobody knows if it’s fake or real. Now the trend is to have a relationship status!!  I don’t want to comment, for it’s not my job. Well, are you a part of the cult? The fashion leads…

Just Being Me !

Ready…set…go! And I was there all geared to take up any or all of the competitions ranging from sports to singing. I had that irresistible urge to win always. I stretched myself far too beyond; learning, unlearning and relearning lessons about which I had no clue, all just to be part of that crew! Destination to me mattered more than the journey. I strongly relied on maxims like “Never say die”, “Be better than the best” and so on. To me, winning was “The Ultimate”. I was straining every nerve and cell just to be on that winner’s pedestal. Oh what a pain!

Realization

The strains showed on me and I could not retain the victory cup always. I was left behind and I watched others surging ahead. Distressed and dejected I was, unable to cope with the fact that I wasn’t always the best in life. The painful realisation taught me valuable lessons. I gradually changed my mindset and believed that just participation will do and it is “after all everything”. But again the deep desire to be a part of everything had not died. It was in fact furiously racing within. No wonder, I madly participated in almost all competitions, now that the journey mattered more than the destination! But participating wasn’t so easy either. It made me apprehensive and anxious, stressing me out.

Discovery

“Are you a coward?” a voice echoed within. I felt as if darkness was laughing at me in exceeding joy. Was I surrendering to the dark evil? Something dawned on me all of a sudden. And I watched the transition within me. After all being just “ordinary” wasn’t a crime! I longed to be a passive spectator watching the myriad drama of life. I had graduated sensibly into a plane where I could rely on my inner signals and sense the nascent aroma of freedom. The need “to become” dropped, and I wanted to “just be”. It gave me heavenly joy and happiness. The freedom of being an unknown, unrecognized an invisible nobody brought me unimaginable peace. To me “anonymity” seemed as the most invaluable gift one could possess.